Tie Your Shoestrings Here

Fighting Normalcy One Post at a Time

Pump Up the Volume and Turn off the Lights

I don’t know if anyone of you do this but I tend to do this every night before I go to sleep.

I will fast-forward my life so that I imagine myself getting engaged, getting old, having children and dying. The whole middle process between life and death is what I usually tend to ignore, more so I just focus on the dying part. I wonder how will I die, old and in a frail body needing some sort of oxygen tank? Or will I go in my sleep? Heart-attack? I keep wondering and imagining until I get seriously worried. Then, and only then do I manage to sleep without dreaming.

Do you do that? It’s something you should try. I recommend it.

Okay, so that may have been a little too heavy for a beginning so I’ll change the subject.

On my wedding day, I’d probably have someone belting out Kate Bush’s Top 20. That or I’ll get someone to remix Clavin Harris and Florence Welch’s, Sweet Nothing for me. My music taste is not very sophisticated, I listen to preppy Japanese pop and indie music. I don’t consider what sort of category of music I belong to because if the song is good then I’ll replay it over and over and over again. It drove all the occupants of my house crazy when I did that, I’m sure that they are incredibly grateful that they managed to ship me off to Australia where I could now drive my neighbours crazy.

What would you like have playing on your wedding day I wonder? Would you want to jive off to Lady Hawke or rather some slow instrumental music you can slow dance to? Music says everything about a couple (not everything but a lot of things) and wedding music is especially important I feel. For that special Father Daughter Dance or when you get the first dance as a married couple.

Personally and I have imagined this before (without any shame), that in the middle of the dancing a group of men in black suits come crashing through my wedding venue as my husband and I start dancing and start having like a major fire fight before kidnapping me.
My husband (by then we would already have been married) would whip out his AK-47 from under one of the tables where he previous stashed it and come after me. Pretty much like James Bond.
Then as the suited men (think Mr. Smith from the Matrix) would have to encounter my furious husband on top of a speeding train in the middle of rustic Germany (how we got there I’m not entirely sure, I haven’t worked out the details yet).
As the men and my husband face off I will manage to wiggle out of my bonds before crawling up to the top of the train. I will subsequently transform into Magical Power Sailor Moon complete with transformed hairstyle, six inch white boots with rhinestones and my wedding dress no where in sight.
I will proceed to beat up the men who kidnapped me, bill them for the damages and throw my husband over my shoulder cavewoman style and hop off back to the wedding venue where we will continue off where we left off.
As a semi-feminist, I am completely happy with this ending. I maintain the hope that this fantasy will one day come true.

In the name of the Moon, I will Punish you!
(Kinky much? Especially with that skirt)

But back to the important stuff. What do you want having played at your wedding reception? You can’t possibly want some dub-step club body gyrating music playing right? For this matter, I’d like to highlight that this is a very personal choice that you need to make and you can completely ignore the suggestions that I will be putting forward to you. And yes, I’m being completely serious.

1. Janelle Monae


She’s got a lovely voice that can both send you to happy tears or sad tears. She’s very jive and hip-hop mixture and she’ll brighten up your party with some of her classic tracks.
Get your hired singer to dress up like Miss Monae and belt out ‘Tightrope’, you’ll find that tugging your two left feet husband out to the dance floor will be much, much easier.

2. Florence Welch (a.k.a. Florence + the Machine)


You might have decided to pick Adele but why choose her when you could have Florence? The woman is a masterpiece all by herself and honestly? I think she’s brilliant. Not that I have anything against Adele but she’s already been played to death and Florence will never go out of style no matter how many times you replay her tracks. She’s cooler than Gaga (who I care little for) and she’s got bohemian written all over her. My sort of woman.

Her new collab with Calvin Harris, ‘Sweet Nothing’ has been my current obsession. I’ve played it over and over again for two weeks straight. My dear, pitiful neighbours have had to listen to the same song for ages. Aren’t you glad I don’t live next to you? The music video itself is a work of beauty and she took a leaf out of Janelle Monae’s book I’d like to think.

3. Pink Martini

Cocktail drink they are not. They are an orchestra group formed original from Portland, USA. They are a mix of pop, classical music, jazz and a whole range more. They really are amazing and I can’t express myself in any other way than telling you that they are honestly, a very good music group and I love them so very much. You realize that it isn’t senseless crooning but rather, it is something that you can listen to and your heart feels lighter.

They’re optimistic, fun and bright. That is what I love the most and to embody that spirit is just wonderful. Take a listen and see if you like them as much as I do. They would be a perfect thing to have playing during your wedding reception, everyone will just be in total bliss and have large smiles. In all seriousness, I would have them at my wedding (but to hire them would probably cost more than an arm and a leg).

Oh and did I forget to mention that China Forbes (the lead singer) can sing French?

4. Beirut

They’re like Mumford and Sons mixed with Pink Martini. I didn’t add Mumford and Sons because no matter how amazing they are, you will have no way of asking them to come to your wedding. You cannot have anyone else playing their music because it simply will not do. Who is going to do the crazy banjo stuff that Marcus Mumford does?

Zach Condon, the lead, is very talented. In this world there are people who are just so multi-talented that you want to hate them on a cellular basis but are unable to because they have these beautiful personalities that makes you feel like your kicking a kitten if you hate them. He has such a lovely quality to his voice and it doesn’t help that he’s very good looking. People who have such sultry, gooey caramel like voices are things that you just want to record so that you can have it playing forever and ever. You won’t even need a lover, you just need a voice that melts your insides like a liquidator.

If I was judged via taste, I’d get an F. Thank heavens I’m not a music reviewer, all I would be able to say is ‘they were really good’. That’s it.
Yeah I know. I’m completely useless when it comes down to substantiality. That is why I am in the arts department.
As my mother loves to remind me: ‘you’re going to starve because you will have no job in the future!’
Sorry, so off topic there.

Okay. I’m finished. May the force be with you.

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This entry was posted on October 25, 2012 by and tagged , , .
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